When it comes to experiencing any degree of disordered eating, often we might feel this urge or need to cut anything out of our daily eats that feels “unnecessary” or “extra.” This tendency to “do without whenever possible” can become more and more extreme over time.

Salad on my dressing? No thanks.

Dessert after dinner? Definitely not.

Cream in my coffee? Nope.

While the focus of today’s post is on a question to ask yourself to challenge this facet of your disordered eating, it is important to point out that there are MANY and varied benefits to NOT cutting out every last thing… from needing to eat enough to have a healthy metabolism/body/brain/hormones to feeling less obsessive and chaotic around food, when we pursue SATISFACTION in our eating, both a healthy diet and a healthy relationship with food tend to fall into place. 

There are many factors that go into making a food or eating experience satisfying. Some of these include eating enough, eating when we are decently hungry most of the time (versus famished or full), eating enough fat/carb/protein, and allocating enough time to eat and prepare our food.

Additionally, a key component of satisfaction in eating is seeking to eat foods we genuinely enjoy (at least most of the time — not every eating experience will be tasty and delish and this is also perfectly normal), and eating foods in a way that they taste good/best… elevating what we are eating from “fine enough” to truly satisfying.

One question to ask yourself to challenge your disordered eating is, “What would make this better?”

This question pushes against the disordered eating tendency to cut out, minimize, and “go without.”

Instead, it leans into real health — both physically and in your relationship with food.

This question might be helpful for you to start practicing asking yourself, whether you are working on improving:

–> Restrictive-style eating, challenging food fears, and re-learning what normal eating might look like

–> Any binge/chaotic-type eating, rooted (in any way) in physical and mental food restriction

–> Taste, variety, and enjoyment in eating

Examples of Asking Yourself: “What Would Make This Better?”

While taste, flavor, and satisfaction in many ways is personal and unique to you, below are some ideas of what this might look like.

NOTE: Your disordered eating will likely try to interfere with your healthy self truly asking and answering this question. The goal is to genuinely answer this question from the healthy part of you. It can sometimes be helpful to think about how you enjoyed certain foods before the disordered eating came into play. Additionally, looking on Pinterest, Instagram, or food blogs for ideas and inspiration for non-disordered approaches to certain foods and meals can be helpful, too.

“What Would Make This Better?” Examples //

OATMEAL –> make with milk (instead of water), add peanut butter + honey, add other toppings like choco chips / fruit / nutella

COFFEE –> make as actually sounds best to you, add cream / milk / sugar

PANCAKES OR WAFFLES –> add toppings like nut butter / maple syrup / berry compote / fruit

BAKED GOODS –> use real butter, eggs, etc. (unless allergies or genuinely healthy or necessary food restrictions)

SALADS –> add dressings / cheeses / nuts / toppings, have a complex carb like crackers or a roll on the side (if having a “meal salad”)

SOUPS & CHILIS –> add toppings (as make sense w/ flavor) like shredded cheese / sour cream / croutons / crushed peanuts or cashews

MEAT DISHES & VEGGIE BOWLS –> experiment with sauces / marinades / salsas / pestos

PASTA DISHES –> add shredded parmesan, have a side of garlic bread or a roll, use your preferred type of pasta

GRAINS –> use whatever would make the dish taste best (i.e., not always needing to automatically do brown rice, quinoa, or whole grain!)

STEAMED OR ROASTED VEGGIES –> add oil / plenty of salt.+ pepper + seasonings

BAKED POTATO OR BREAD –> spread or top w/ butter

MIXED NUTS, ALMONDS –> add in other fun mix-ins like choco chips / chopped dates./ dried cherries

SMOOTHIES –> experiment w/ satisfying add-ins like avocado / yogurt /  nut butter / protein powder / cacao powder / dark chocolate / dates, add some granola or cereal for a crunchy topping

DESSERTS –> have an after-dinner dessert like ice cream or dark chocolate (i.e., instead of a “dessert” of fruit or yogurt… I love both of those things but call them snacks, not “dessert”!)

Pursuing “what would make this better” is a win, win, win.

Focusing on satisfaction as a cornerstone of our eating decisions is generally a win for:

(1) our physical health (win!)

(2) our relationship with food (win!)

(3) our taste and enjoyment of food (win!)

However, when working on healing your relationship with food and your body, it is normal if you are feeling fear and hesitation when it comes to all of this. OTHERWISE we wouldn’t be having said conversation.

I invite you, as you feel comfortable, to consider starting to (gradually) challenge these fears, sitting with the anxiety and discomfort that comes up, and leaning into the pursuit of true health and freedom.

Ask yourself, where might these fears be coming from? What is driving them? Is it ultimately serving me for these fears to be calling the shots?

Bringing our question home to today…  think about your next meal or snack. What would make it better??

Consider taking the time to really think about your answer. Notice any anxiety or tension that comes up.

What might your next step be in response to thinking about today’s question?