Today I’m going to talk about a concept I think of as “self-prescribed rigid box thinking,” – rule-bound, all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking we can impose on ourselves. This is something I used to struggle with a LOT when I had an eating disorder and this way of thinking can still impact me regularly (but thankfully usually in much lesser degrees).
About a week ago I decided not to do a marathon that I had been training for the past few months. The marathon is only a month out, but I was at the height of my training plan and my knee was starting to flare up a bit. I felt like I could have pushed through it and done the marathon, but I really did not want to risk any injury, especially since the last (and only) time I did a marathon I was out for 5 months after the race recovering from a knee injury in the same knee that was flaring up last week. (The marathon was totally worth it at the time, but I would not recommend running a marathon on a semi-good knee!) I also felt like my motivation for doing this marathon wasn’t in the best spot. For the first marathon, I had a lot of fun training, and completing the marathon was my only goal – and it ended up being one of the best/most exhilarating days of my life! Running a marathon was something I had always wanted to do, and I didn’t know for a long time if it would be possible for me to run a marathon healthfully due to my history of anorexia nervosa and 6 years of restrictive eating/overexercising-induced hypothalamic amenorrhea.
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