May 1, 2024April 26, 2024 by Libby

Exploring Reactionary Gaps in Compulsive Eating

One concept that I find it can be helpful to explore when it comes to compulsive eating is this idea of a “reactionary gap.”

(Note: this is a term I’ve adopted from the Binge Eating Therapist. Explore her YouTube channel and podcast if you haven’t already!! I love her material.)

A reactionary gap is a bit of emotional/mental space created by any tool, situation, check-in, physical distancing, environmental set-up, or other strategy. Its purpose is to help you take a mindful pause, with the goal of making at least a slightly more present, less compulsive food choice.

It is NOT about whether you say “yes” or “no” to a food, but about making a food decision from a more grounded, more peaceful, less conflicted, and less compulsive place.

You likely already use a variety of “reactionary gaps” without really thinking about it or labeling it as such.

A few everyday examples might be:

Keeping most of your snack-type food in the pantry instead of all out on the table or counter
Pausing after an initial serving of dinner to decide if you want more before automatically going for seconds
Eating seated at the table instead of standing
Not keeping a box of chocolates on your work desk

IMPORTANT NOTE! There is nothing “inherently wrong” with any of my so-called everyday examples. They may or may not resonate with how you prefer to go about eating / what works for you. Maybe you like to keep a box of chocolates on your desk and that works well for you, it doesn’t feel compulsive, and it is something you enjoy. That is perfectly fine! What we are talking about here is managing compulsivity in eating. Feeling compulsive with food looks different for everyone and is going to be triggered by different dynamics and different situations for each of us.

So, before we get to thinking about how you might benefit from thinking about this idea of a reactionary gap to help with any compulsive eating in your own life, let’s first chat about my three main reactionary gap caveats!

My Main Reactionary Gap Caveats:

Caveat #1: A reactionary gap is not about “not being allowed” a certain food or quantity of food.

A reactionary gap is NOT an unhealthfully restrictive, diet-mentality-in-disguise tool designed to place strict “no’s” on your eating. **Do not miss this point!!!** In fact, as we have mentioned, a reactionary gap is not even about whether you say yes or no to the food at all!

A reactionary gap is about creating a bit of mindful space so that you are able to tune inward and make a “yes” or “no” decision with your healthy more present self in the “driver’s seat” of your eating choices… ideally operating less and less over time with the Compulsive Autopilot in charge.

Using a reactionary gap to try to “control” eating out of guilt/fear/anxiety tends to only backfire into more chaotic and compulsive eating in the future, as fear-driven mental and/or physical food restriction are the most common drivers of chaotic and compulsive eating.

Caveat #2: What feels too restrictive and confined is going to vary from person to person.

Depending on your own specific background with food and your current mental/emotional dynamics with food, what feels too restrictive and conflicting when it comes to food is going to vary from me to you.

For example, a number of the clients I work with experience their Compulsive Autopilot showing up to drive their food choices with certain highly-triggering-to-them (for various reasons) foods. Let’s say for simplicity’s sake that for each of these clients the triggering food is chocolate.

Because each of these clients is unique, each will likely have a different approach to using a reactionary gap. Remember, the purpose of a reactionary gap is to feel increased freedom, safety, centeredness, and peace when it comes to food decisions. They aren’t necessarily meant to be set in stone (as in, you don’t need to follow them forever, or even tomorrow if you don’t want to!), but they are helping you right now.

Example reactionary gaps with the chocolate dynamic might be:

Client A may find it too triggering for her compulsiveness to have any chocolate at all in the house right now. The option to go get chocolate from the store always exists and is a perfectly fine choice. BUT, right now the compulsivity is so strong that the physical distance of having to go to the store helps to give her more space to make a more mindful choice either way. (Again, not about yes/no to the chocolate. The point is that YOU in your healthier, more present state are making your choice, not the compulsivity).
Client B may experience way too much scarcity mindset if there is no chocolate in the house, and THAT would be triggering and lead to more compulsive eating whenever the chocolate is around. Client B chooses to keep many bars of chocolate in the house, so she knows there is always some when she would like some. It creates the feeling of safety/knowledge that the chocolate isn’t going anywhere (which, if feeling scarce, can trigger Last Supper Mentality eating). Client B’s reactionary gap is keeping the chocolate in the pantry, rather than in her bedroom, so that there is a bit of a distance barrier to help make a more present choice either way when she is thinking about enjoying some.
Client C may feel safest keeping 2-3 bars of chocolate in the house. She knows if she goes to get some, she has more for later if she would like more later. BUT, it would feel too triggering for her compulsivity right now to have many bars in the house at once. A helpful reactionary gap for Client C might be keeping 2-3 bars of chocolate in the pantry, with the added distance of needing to go to the store to get more if she would like more. Again, the option to go get more fully exists!

Reactionary gaps are meant to be flexible over time. A possible goal for Client A might be eventually feeling comfortable and not compulsive with having several bars of chocolate in the house at once.

Caveat #3: Consider all three elements of the Compulsive Eating Triangle when thinking about the main factors influencing any eating compulsivity.

Lastly, if you are looking to decrease compulsivity when it comes to your food patterns, it is vital that you consider all three elements of the Compulsive Eating Triangle. The three elements of the Compulsive Eating Triangle are: (1) nutrition factors, (2) thought patterns / psychology, and (3) emotional dynamics w/ food.

NOT EATING ENOUGH and/or NOT ALLOWING YOURSELF FOODS YOU ENJOY are two key drivers of compulsive eating. If your body isn’t adequately nourished, it simply needs food and will drive you to eat. The less nourished we are, the greater our compulsivity and out-of-control feeling with food is likely to be. No amount of “reactionary gapping” in these scenarios is going to be helpful (or healthy) in the long run! Your body simply needs food!!

Possible things to consider during your “reactionary gap pause”:

First — establish clearly with yourself that you have permission, without guilt, to eat the food!

It is vital that the choice freely exists to say YES to the food — without future strings attached. “Future strings attached” could be things like now you have to eat less for breakfast tomorrow (regardless of what your hunger level might be tomorrow morning), more time at the gym tomorrow to “burn off” what you ate, and no more of said food later on (regardless of future desire or hunger level later on). This sort of thinking is almost guaranteed to keep you stuck in the compulsive eating cycle.

The freedom to say NO to a food is only truly free when we are also free to say YES to the food (without guilt or future strings attached).

If it doesn’t feel okay to say “yes” to the food or like this is a reasonable option, this could be something to get curious about. Where might the guilt be coming from?

Check in with yourself — how are you feeling physically, mentally, emotionally?

While, this is something that will get more intuitive over time, initially it can be really helpful to pause and do a mini check in to see how you are feeling before automatically going for the food or for another round of food.

A mini self check-in can function as a reactionary gap in and of itself, but you may also likely need a “pre-reactionary gap” to get to the self check-in. Sometimes, when we have already entered into eating compulsivity mode (depending on how strong the compulsive dynamic is) it can be next to impossible to pause for a mini check-in.

This pre-reactionary gap could look like planning in advance to physically distance yourself after a first round of food to do your questions check-in, getting up and going to the bathroom at a restaurant for a mini check-in, or leaving the dining hall after an initial round of food for a check-in. If your food scenario is quite compulsive, you may need support with implementing these distancing strategies.

Things to possibly consider during your check-in…

How am I feeling physically? What is my current hunger/fullness level?
How am I feeling emotionally?
How compulsive / revved up might I be feeling?
Even if I am feeling quite full, might I still want to enjoy the food in this moment?

Choosing to say yes or no to a food is a constant shifting of priorities. Sometimes I am overly full, but still choose to enjoy a certain food (one common example might be a tasty dessert I don’t have the chance to eat often). Other times, I am valuing feeling better physically by remaining at a more comfortable level of fullness in that moment.

There is no right or wrong, it just depends on what you are valuing/preferring/feeling!

If you regret your choice, one key is to not catastrophize. This will likely lead to either restriction to “make up” for your choice (remember — restriction triggers future compulsive eating), or continued compulsive eating to avoid the uncomfortable feelings (what I call meta-compulsivity mode).

There will always be more eating experiences to practice tuning in. What’s more, eating is not something we ever “get perfectly”! It is a day to day practice and it is normal for it to feel messy at times.

Example reactionary gaps:

What might it look like to use a reactionary gap in your own life (if helpful)? Maybe there is a specific food or situation where you may find this concept helpful.

Again, remember that certain examples are going to feel like they are creating either too restrictive of a dynamic or still-too-compulsive of a dynamic depending on the person. These examples are meant to just get you thinking. You will likely come up with a better and more specific example for your own eating dynamic.