Welcome, 2023! Crazy that we are already starting another new year.

While there is obviously nothing “magical” about starting a new year, I personally often find the beginning of January to be a relatively encouraging and hopeful time. It feels encouraging to me to think about the year ahead, what it could hold, ways in which I want to grow, etc. I feel inspired thinking about what I can focus on in my own life despite what may be going on outside my personal sphere.

I am not one to make new year’s resolutions, but I do like to take time at the end of the year and start of a new year to reflect on the past year and consider ways I want to grow, be intentional, and engage with life more broadly-speaking going forward. I consider it a time to pause, “take stock” of how life is going, and think through ways I want to move forward in greater alignment with my values and desires.

I’m sure that you have already likely seen no shortage of resolution-type posts or articles on the Internet related to the best way to diet/eat, lose weight, change your body size, or exercise more effectively in 2023. Maybe you have seen segments on TV related to this or have heard a friend or family member express their intention to lose _____ amount of pounds, try the _____ diet, or up their exercise by doing ______.

I don’t think the intentions behind these pursuits are necessarily all problematic… I can understand and relate to what is in at least some ways likely a desire to feel healthier in one’s body and to take care of oneself physically. This is a great intention (on its own) in my opinion! What I don’t promote or agree with is what I often see as “quick-fix” solutions to food/exercise/body issues and/or the focus on physical appearance as a direct outcome at the expense of one’s overall health and well-being.

I am much more in favor of focusing on life-giving, sustainable behavior changes that consider ALL aspects of health and well-being – mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual included. I am a fan of ADDING foods whenever possible, not restricting. Exercising and moving one’s body in ways that bring JOY, not obligation. Eating in ways that bring SATISFACTION and NOURISHMENT, not constantly looking for the “healthiest” (typically code for low cal, low fat, or low carb) option. (A method that is sure to backfire).

In the spirit of thinking about health and well-being in a well-rounded way, here are ten intentions to consider pursuing in 2023 that DON’T involve restrictive dieting or directly focusing on manipulating/controlling your body size. Instead, consider joining me in focusing on doable changes that may bring you greater LIFE, JOY, and OVERALL HEALTH. Maybe one or all of these ideas will spark further thought and ongoing interest for you this year. You may want to grab a journal for whatever thoughts come to mind!

10 Intentions to Consider for 2023: (Food, life, nutrition, + beyond!) 

Adding in foods:

At the start of a new year, it seems everyone is focused on what they are taking OUT of their diets. No added sugar, no carbs, less fat, less food in general, only juices, only raw foods, etc. etc. (What haven’t we heard at this point?? *Sigh.*) What could it look like if you were to focus instead on ADDING in more variety as far as food goes?

Are there foods you have avoided the past year(s) due to fears of what adding them back in might do to your body? Honestly acknowledging what foods these are is a great place to start.

Are there foods the “disordered eating part” or your brain has convinced you that you don’t like (when in reality a more accurate assessment is that they don’t meet your disordered eating brain’s unhealthy/unrealistic/overly rigid standards for “healthy”)?

Consider foods you used to enjoy but now avoid. This might take time and substantial honesty to explore. Consider new flavors, textures, or tastes. Consider new cuisines, recipes, or restaurants. What might it look like for you to experiment with challenging yourself to add more food + nutrition variety in 2023? How might this benefit your physical + mental health? Your relational health?

Pursuing movement you enjoy:

Whether you prefer structured exercise or just moving your body in more natural, day-to-day ways, I believe movement for health purposes is meant to be JOYFUL and something to look forward to, not dread. Something that is a stress-relieving highlight of your day, not a duty, “check-the-box” sort of thing, or obligation.

If you currently have more of a structured exercise routine, do you (in all honesty) enjoy your activities, or do you do them because you “have to” or feel like you should?

If you don’t currently move your body regularly and would like to incorporate this more in the new year, what are activities you might look forward to, even thinking outside the box of typical “exercise” activities?

How can you shift the main focus off of changing your body size and onto how you FEEL (physically, mentally, emotionally)?

Sleeping enough:

I truly think sleep is the bedrock of good health. Even if you are eating well, exercising regularly, and practicing good stress management, if you aren’t sleeping enough on a regular basis, your health is going to take a significant hit.

If you feel like you aren’t getting enough quality sleep (for most people, this is 7-9 hours a night), what might it look like for you to prioritize sleep over nutrition or exercise goals/intentions? How might this change the quality of your life and overall health? Your ability to engage in what matters to you?

As someone who experiences significant challenges with sleep from time to time, I want to mention that if you are someone struggling with sleep (falling or staying asleep), often thinking about this as a problem is more detrimental than helpful. What I mean is, you may practice plenty of good “sleep hygiene” activities and know the importance of sleep, still struggle to get said sleep, and find it stressful and anxiety-inducing thinking about how you are not getting enough good sleep and that this is likely affecting your life/health. Which then likely makes it even harder to sleep…

I will say a few things here… (1) while sleep is obviously important (as said above), it isn’t the ONLY aspect of health and well-being. Practicing healthy, life-giving habits and behaviors in other areas even when we are struggling with sleep is still going to make a huge difference in our health. Acknowledging and thinking about this can help take the pressure off when we are struggling to sleep at night or for stretches at a time. Not everything is ruined and life can still go on (even if it is more difficult). And you can still pursue healthy behaviors in other areas of life to the best of your ability (admittedly more difficult to do when tired) when sleep feels beyond your control. (2) If you are someone who does “everything right” when it comes to sleep (such as not using your phone, sleeping in dark/colder room, not going to bed hungry, etc.) maybe something beyond the traditional “sleep tips” is warranted. Maybe something more is going on with your biology, overactive mind, etc. that could benefit greatly from increased/targeted support (such as working with a functional medicine practitioner or counselor/therapist).

I like this quote by Brad Stulberg (found in my Rise and Run cookbook): “Don’t freak out about not sleeping. The first rule of sleep is that you should prioritize it because it is one of the most important things for health. The second rule of sleep is not to stress out if you don’t get it. So much of what keeps people awake is freaking out about not getting sleep. Sleep like your life depends on it. And if you are up in the middle of the night or not sleeping well, release from the fact that your life depends on it – because it doesn’t!”

Saying no: 

What do you want to say “no” to more in 2023 to in effect say YES to something else (that you value more)? What is it that you are wanting more of in 2023? Family time, personal rest time, mental clarity, fun/adventure, chill evenings at home, meaningful work, presence with your kids/spouse, getting out of debt? What might you need to say NO to more often in order to create more of what it is you are ultimately desiring?

I don’t mean saying no for the sake of being overly rigid and inflexible, or without compassionately recognizing how our yes’s and no’s impact those around us. What I am suggesting is to consider being more intentional with what you say yes or no to, by taking the time to reflect on what you are desiring, what you are valuing, how you want to show up relationally/emotionally in the world, and how you can feasibly move a bit (or a lot) more towards those desires, values, and outcomes given your current life circumstances.

Being a perpetual learner:

I recognize that this comes more naturally for some of us than others… for me, I am pretty much constantly seeking out more input to my mind (books, podcasts, lectures, documentaries, etc.) and need to also be mindful to reign this in with mental white space + margin. Whether you feel like you enjoy actively seeking out new information (and I mean this in a very broad sense) or not,  I do think we are all meant to pursue lifelong learning and growing intellectually + creatively in some capacity.

What could this look like for you in 2023, in a way that doesn’t feel overwhelming, annoying, or like a burden? Some “brainstorming” ideas I have are to commit to reading more (maybe pick out a couple of books to read, commit to reading just 1 page a day, read for 15 mins before bed, exploring a new genre –> wherever it feels good to you to start w/ reading), pick out 1-2 new podcasts to try, slowly start to explore a hobby or craft you’ve been wanting to pick up (but it never feels like there is enough time for… it may always feel that way… ), find a credible news outlet/source or way to stay on top of current events/cultural themes more deeply/accurately, or even something more adventurous like joining a book club, getting a library card, going to an interesting lecture at a school or university near you, or exploring your local art or science museum.

Only you know what might work for you, what your capacity is, and what might be mentally stimulating + enjoyable to you. Is there one doable step in regards to learning that feels life-giving and interesting for you to try?

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” // Albert Einstein

Phone + tech boundaries:

We all know smart phones are designed to be addictive and for us to stay on them… and many of us don’t like how distracted and less present our phones can cause us to feel. (ME INCLUDED). What might it look like for you to pursue intentional boundaries with your phone, social media, or tech usage, thus freeing you up to be more present and to have greater mental clarity throughout the day?

For me, it can be very distracting to have texts and notifications coming to me all throughout the day. I am finding that I need to be pretty strict regarding when I look at my phone, what notifications I am allowing, and where I keep my phone as far as physical distance goes when I am not using it (especially in the evenings when I might have more downtime that I don’t want to spend on my phone). Everyone is different in terms of their phone habits, preferences, and needs – what works for me may not work for you. Is there a way you want to grow in being more intentional about how you approach your phone usage and ability to be present with your work, rest, self, or those around you?

Engaging in relationships with others:

It seems we are living in an increasingly isolated world… when we are MEANT to be living in deep relationship and community with others. Pursuing meaningful friendships + community can be quite challenging with the pace of modern life, conflicting and demanding work schedules + commutes, and the lack of regular communal gathering rhythms in many people’s lives.

That being said, is there a way you want to be intentional about relationships with others in 2023?

Is there someone you know who is lonely or hurting who you could reach out to on a regular basis? Text or call, see how they are doing, grab lunch?

Is there someone you’ve been wanting to get to know more who you could reach out to, seeing if they want to meet up for coffee or a walk?

Can you ask an intentional, slightly less surface-level + more relational question to a friend or family member next time you are with them?

Can you respond more genuinely next time a trusted friend or family member asks how you are doing?

Building authentic relationships can take bravery, intentionality, persistence, and patience. However, there is so much to be gained by gradually building up friendships and relationships in our lives. This is certainly something I would like to focus on more in the coming year! I really think our relationships with others is one of the things that matters most at the end of the day, and it is something I like to think intentionally and creatively about, especially at the start of a new year.

Focusing on healthy/life-giving behaviors instead of weight:

Ahhhh yes. So much to say about this one but I will be relatively brief for now. A first point: weight is not something we have direct control over. Just like you can’t DIRECTLY control your blood pressure or iron level, you can’t DIRECTLY control your weight. Yes, there are things we can do that may be more or less likely to lead to an increase/decrease in blood pressure, iron level, or weight, but we can’t go out and automatically control or change these things. Weight is also complicated and there are many factors that go into one’s weight (it is not just calories in, calories out…).

What we CAN control more are our health BEHAVIORS.

Engaging in life-giving, healthy behaviors will lead to one of three things: (1) your weight will increase, (2) your weight will decrease, or (3) your weight will remain relatively stable. Whether or not your body is at its healthy set point weight range is what will largely determine this. And everyone has a different healthy weight range –> thinner does not necessarily mean healthier, and larger does not necessarily mean less healthy. It all depends on YOU and YOUR own body. This is why tuning into your body and its own needs (for rest, nourishment, activity, etc.) is so key.

How can you take the focus OFF weight (a fluctuating number) and ON to behaviors that help you feel good?? And we are (as always) talking physical health AND also mental, emotional, and relational health. Health is a multi-faceted picture. Let us not sway too far in one direction to sacrifice all the other areas of health.

Creating more rest + white space:

What could it look like to create more rest, white space, and margin in your life in 2023? (Given what is reasonably feasible in your life circumstances?) It can be hard to not jam our days full of “productive” tasks or to not reach for our phones whenever we have a moment of boredom/waiting/or downtime. We can find ourselves saying yes to more and more events or responsibilities, many of which are good in and of themselves yet can leave us feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, and mentally frazzled.

Adding more rest and margin to our days can help us feel more presented with those around us and centered internally. Rest + fun gives ourselves the time our minds to unwind, leading to increased creativity, spontaneous thoughts for tackling problems in our lives, new insights, and increased ability to move forward more intentionally in life. The time to rest, wander mentally, and reflect is imperative to living an intentional and value-driven life.

Pursuing emotional health growth: 

Finally, instead of overly focusing on nutrition or exercise as you head into the new year, what might it look like for you to shift more attention to growing emotionally? Maybe this is something you have given attention to for years or maybe this is a new area of your life you have yet to deeply explore. Continually growing in self-awareness and emotional health is one of the areas I see as key to a present, engaged, freeing, healthy life.

There are, of course, many ways you might want to go about pursuing greater emotional health in 2023… some ideas I have are as follows (especially if this is a newer territory to you)…

— Sharing your life story with a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor
— Reading a book related to emotional health/growth (such as Permission to Feel, Loving Bravely, The Power of Showing Up, Hold Me Tight, Emotionally Health Spirituality)
— Reaching out to a therapist (such as an LMFT) to begin to understand more of your past and how it effects your present 
— Exploring online or through books a topic you might find interesting or helpful to yourself (such as mindfulness, cognitive flexibility, healthy boundaries, conflict resolution, emotional presence, etc.)
— Using the feelings wheel once a day to help identify how you are feeling –> then write this down in a sentence or share it with a spouse/family member/roommate

As you reflect on your values and desires for the year ahead, I invite you to continue returning to this post in seeking to pursue an intentional 2023. I’d love to hear from you via email or feel free to leave a comment with any thoughts + questions + insights you may have!