In recovery from an eating disorder (or any degree of disordered eating) it can feel like we are “relearning how to eat.”

Relearning how to do something that is in some ways largely innate and feels like it should be so easy can come with a decent amount of shame. I feel embarrassed for not knowing how to nourish my body and for feeling so overwhelmed with how to go about eating. 

But, when we step back and consider the many months or years you may have been wrestling with disordered eating, it’s no wonder eating feels so confusing and complicated at this point! What once felt carefree and second-nature now feels distressing and anxiety-inducing.

When working with clients to gradually move from overwhelm to confidence and clarity in nourishing one’s body, one concept I’ve come up with to help with this is what I call the “5 layers to eating.” Each layer addresses a different facet of how to nourish your body well:

1. Consistency
2. Balance
3. Portions
4. Variety
5. Enjoyment

The different layers are written in the order they are for a reason — for example, if you aren’t eating consistently, that is often a good place to start.

At the same time, learning to nourish one’s body well isn’t a linear 5-step process by any means, and you’ll find yourself working on the different layers simultaneously as well. For instance, it’s going to be hard to eat consistently if your meals and snacks aren’t balanced or filling enough.

It’s a messy, more-gray-than-black-and-white process!

If you’re feeling lost and confused as to how to go about eating, then today’s blog post is for you!

How to Nourish Your Body Well with the 5 Layers of Eating

Consistency: Am I eating regular meals & snacks?

As mentioned, the first place I recommend starting when it comes to nourishing your body well is with building consistency in eating regular meals and snacks.

Without worrying too much right now about what or even how much you are eating, are you eating some sort of breakfast, some sort of lunch, and some sort of dinner?

Focus first on building a habit of adding these “anchors meals” of eating into your day. Ideally, I recommend adding in several consistent snacks as well.

Additional tips on building consistency with eating:

• Some people find it helpful to create an “eating schedule,” especially if your hunger and fullness cues are off. You might need a couple of different schedules for various “types” of days (e.g., weekends vs. work days, different days in a college schedule, etc.).
• If your Eating Disorder Part is heavily protesting your efforts at eating consistently (which is expected!), what can help your Healthy Self follow through on your intentions to eat consistently? This might look like writing out a list of goals or affirmations to read each morning or before each meal, or having your dietitian or therapist help with accountability.

Balance: Am I eating balanced meals? 

After you’ve gotten some consistency going with regular meals (and ideally regular snacks as well), it’s time to start challenging your Eating Disorder Part a bit more about what you are eating.

Are your meals balanced? A balanced meal contains at least one source each of protein, fat, and a main carbohydrate, plus any fruits and veggies for additional fiber and micronutrients.

While fruits and veggies are also typically primarily carbohydrate, for the purpose of creating a balanced meal, I refer to a “main carbohydrate” source as something like quinoa, rice, pasta, potato, oats, or grain-alternatives (such as chickpea or lentil pasta/rice).

Each component of a balanced meal is important not only nutritionally, but also in feeling satisfied and ready to move on from a meal.

A lot of times, people’s Eating Disorder Part’s find it easier to focus on protein, and typically have more issue with fat and/or carbohydrate. If this is the case for you, I invite you to consider exploring what might be behind these fears.

Are your thoughts and beliefs about fat and carbs rooted in reality?

Are your thoughts helping your relationship with food and overall health, or might they be making matters worse?

Portions: Am I eating enough?

While you’re working on building consistency with eating balanced meals, it’s natural to consider your portion sizes — are you eating enough?

This layer to eating is particularly unique to each individual. How much your body generally needs depends on a number of things, including your current health status, potential weight restoration goals, metabolism, genetics, height/weight, activity level, and more.

It can take some time and experimenting to build familiarity with a general amount of food that tends to work well for you. This is where it can be particularly helpful to be working with a dietitian for feedback as you both get a sense of this together over time.

That being said, most people’s Eating Disorder Parts will need some “talking back to” when it comes to portion sizes. Is what your Eating Disorder Part thinks is a healthy portion size really a healthy portion size?

A couple of tips if you are feeling stuck with the “how much” layer of eating:

• Consider starting with a version of the plate method. Using a full-size plate (not a snack-size plate!), fill up 1/3 of your plate with protein, 1/3 with your main carb, and 1/3 with any fruits or veggies. Then add at least one fat source.
• The above plate method can also be applied to “mixed meals,” like a soup, stir fry, pasta dish, or casserole. For example, if you were to envision what’s in your bowl of chicken noodle soup, might it fill a plate with about 1/3 protein, 1/3 main carb, and 1/3 veggies? Maybe you also have a roll with butter on the side to round out your carb and to include a fat source.
• Remember this is a rule of thumb and doesn’t need to *always* be applied. For example, if I have pancakes for breakfast one morning, maybe more like 1/2 of my plate will be a main carb source, which is perfectly fine. Maybe then I’d round out my plate with 1/4 sausage (protein) and 1/4 fruit, along with some peanut butter (fat) + maple syrup for my pancakes.

We generally want to be feeling hungry and reading for our next meal or snack every 3 hours or so (give or take). If you are feeling hungry sooner than this, it’s a good sign that your portion wasn’t adequate!

Variety: Am I eating enough variety?

After you’ve gotten comfortable with eating consistent, balanced meals of adequate size, then it can be a good time to work on eating more variety.

Oftentimes, our Eating Disorder Parts convince us that we only like certain foods — maybe oatmeal for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and chicken with veggies for dinner.

I also like all of those foods. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast or a good salad for lunch.

But might there be many other foods that you used to like, that your Eating Disorder Part told you were off-limits? If you were to write out a list of all the foods you wish you could have, but don’t allow yourself, what might that list include?

OR, maybe you don’t necessarily fear eating certain foods, but simply haven’t ever really explored different recipes, meal or snack ideas, fruits and veggies, or cuisines.

Eating enough variety helps both with challenging your Eating Disorder Part AND with meeting your nutrition needs, as different foods have unique vitamin, mineral, and macronutrient profiles.

Enjoyment: Am I regularly enjoying food? 

Lastly, a goal in recovering from disordered eating and truly learning to nourish your body well might be to regularly enjoy eating again.

Eating is a sensory experience full of taste, texture, smell, and sight. Nourishing our bodies can be an endlessly creative and enjoyable endeavor, as we seek to create satisfying, nutrient-dense (and sometimes simply fun!) meals, snacks, and desserts.

That’s not to say every meal or snack is going to be perfectly enjoyable. Far from it! I routinely have meals or snacks that are sort of “meh” — maybe a quick and less-than-interesting lunch before a seeing client when I’m not all that hungry, the same boring snack I’ve had the past 3 days, or a restaurant dish that I didn’t really care for. This is all part of what I’d consider to be normal experiences of eating.

That being said, eating can and, in my opinion, should be an (overall) enjoyable part of life! This might look like the more “routine enjoyments,” like creating a satisfying breakfast you look forward to each day, adding your favorite coffee creamer to your morning wake-up blend, or having some dark chocolate in the evening to round out your day.

It also includes the more “unique enjoyments,” like the amazing restaurant you went to on your last vacation, the delicious birthday cake you made for your friend, and the memorable food you had at your cousin’s wedding.

True health is rooted in enjoyment. Developing a way of eating that is satisfying and full of meals and snacks that you actually look forward to is a key foundation for health in the holistic sense — mental, emotional, and physical.

What might be your next step in nourishing your body well?

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